Our behaviour
becomes ingrained in us, forming patterns that we repeat over and over. From
our earliest childhood we start to build a "map of the world". It's as though we see the world through a
filter, like tinted glasses putting things into perspective.
This
personal map of the world incorporates a set of rules, according to which we
believe the world functions. These are learned from a very young age, depending
on the experiences we each undergo and the perceptions delivered by our senses.
But here is the
most important point: our "map
of the world" is built on three key elements: our need for security, our
image of ourselves and the power we exert over our environment.
In fact, from
the day we are born, we try to develop these three elements, or we are obliged
to develop them in order to survive. The three are of course interlinked
because it is often the case, for example, that we build our image in such a
way as to establish our security, because it's through our image, i.e. how we
present ourselves to others, that we will be able to influence the love and
attention we receive from them.
It's in a baby's interest to know how to
behave if he wants to obtain affection, tenderness or food from his parents.
From his experiences, and his various attempts to adapt to his environment, the
tiny child soon starts to gradually piece together his map of the world i.e.
the rules he must obey to establish his security and his influence over his
environment.
For example, the child will become convinced
that it's by being very obedient and complying with his parents' wishes that he
will gain their love. This kind of belief, which is very common, leads us to
build a "false identity", which is not based on our true personality
but on our impressions of other people's expectations.
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