“I’ll never manage it … it’s bound to go wrong … it’s much too good for me … I never have any luck … nobody loves me, understands me … everyone is against me … I don’t have the time … I don’t want anything … it always happens to me … I wish it was yesterday … I’m worried about the future …” These are the phrases you hear from people who are in poor shape mentally and maybe physically too, because it’s a well-known fact that physical and mental well-being go hand in hand.
Just think about it for a moment: are these the kinds of phrases you would expect to hear from men and women who have made a complete success of their lives. Of course not! They would be using completely different expressions reflecting their Positive Thinking.
Let me explain: it is more constructive to say that a bottle is half full than half empty. In either case, the bottle contains the same volume, but the use of the word “full” gives a positive impression of abundance whereas the word “empty” gives a negative impression of deficiency.
Every day, without realising it, you use words and expressions which lead your thoughts down a negative path. There are countless examples. I’m going to ask you to do a little exercise that should make you more aware of this bad habit. If you can manage to banish all the phrases below from your vocabulary, you will already have taken a giant stride towards Positive Thinking.
So, if someone asks “How are you?” replying “Not bad” or “Could be better” is rather depressing, whereas an answer like “Very well” or better still “Great, thanks!” is much more encouraging. Remember that this question “How are you” is asked mainly out of politeness, rather than a deep concern for your state of health, so try to ensure that your answer portrays you as a dynamic person. You need to convince YOURSELF more than anyone that you feel fine! A lukewarm reply weakens the confidence you have in your health and stresses your real or imagined deficiencies in a pointless way because this does nothing to remedy them.
If someone comments “You’re looking very well” it’s hardly positive to reply “Well, appearances can be deceptive” and then start reeling off a great list of minor ailments. As you seem to “look” well, try to convince yourself that you really “are” well. Reply “Oh yes, I am” and you will feel better already.
In general terms, train yourself to do the following:
l Reject negative turns of phrase when they can easily be avoided. It’s the affirmative that symbolises Positive Thinking.
l Similarly, avoid phrases which qualify or introduce doubt into your statements: “not sure” ... “maybe” ... and, worst of all, “yes” inevitably followed by a “but.”
Examples:
“Yes I’m feeling fine, but I could be better” …
“Yes I passed my exam, but I didn’t get a Distinction” … “Yes I like him, but not as much as his brother” …
“Yes I’ve got a job, but maybe not for long.”
If you are inclined to do this, try to follow your “buts” with something constructive so that your sentences end on a positive note:
“I’m not well, but I’m sure I’ll be better soon”
or “I failed my exams in June, but I’m determined to pass in September.”
l Whenever possible, avoid using verbs in the future and especially the conditional – it’s easiest to practise Positive Thinking using the present. Forget phrases like “I would love …”, “If only I dared…” Remember that when you say them, you are imposing restrictions in your mind, and this is bound to prevent you from obtaining what you want.
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